Weekly Davar - The Pleasure of Sacrifice (Pikudey)

This week’s portion reads as though Betzalel, Moses’ great nephew, built the Tabernacle singlehandedly – something that would have been physically impossible.

The Rabbis explain that since he made the greatest sacrifices to build it, the Torah looks upon it as though he did it himself.

It’s a principle in life – the more we sacrifice for something, the more it means to us.

Those who have worked hard for their money, have a deeper sense of connection and appreciation for it than those who are handed it on a silver platter. Easy come, easy go. The early Zionists in Israel had a deeper connection to the land than most Israelis today – because they had to fight and make sacrifices for every inch of it and every moment they lived there. There was a deeper feeling of patriotism in the UK after World War 2 than there is today because people had had to fight for the freedom of their country.

Making sacrifices for something gives us a feeling of connection to it. Betzalel had the deepest connection to the Tabernacle because he had sacrificed the most.

There are more subtle sacrifices in life also.

Children are a great sacrifice for us in terms of time and emotional commitment. And because we sacrifice, we feel connected. Coming home early from work to put the kids to bed is often a real effort for a parent. Creating a story to tell them that at the same time entertains them and also teaches them something they need to learn, is harder still. Much easier to read them Thomas the Tank engine. Staying calm when they have written on your newly painted walls; not screaming when they are out of bed for the 10th time; allowing them independence when you are so scared of what they will do with it are the type of self sacrifices that will create the deepest of bonds.

And, of course, marriage. The more one sacrifices for one’s spouse, the more one feels connected. And I don’t mean giving in to your spouse in order to stop him or her from driving you crazy. That is not done for your spouse; it is done for yourself. Self sacrifice in marriage means giving your spouse the chocolate bar – and not telling him it was the last one. It means being embarrassed by your spouse in public – and not talking to him about it until you get home. It means getting up with the baby in the middle of the night, even though you have to be up early tomorrow, and not even mentioning it the next morning. It means wanting to blame your spouse for a problem, but deciding to look to yourself first.

No one forced Betzalel to make more sacrifices for the Tabernacle than anyone else. It was a labour of love. But it gave him a deeper connection to it than anyone else. No one forces us also. It’s just a very simple equation – the more we put into things, the more we struggle, compromise and make sacrifices for things, the more they will mean to us. If there are things in our life that we want to mean something to us in the long run, the sacrifices we make for them will ensure that they do.